He used to tease me with stifled mirth
As he looked upon my increasing girth
So undertook much potent exercise
I huffed and puffed and reduced in size
Even dieted with great pain
This must not fail nor be in vain
Could almost slide down the plughole
So to charity my clothes did roll
Alas I simply could not bear
To bin my undies by Janet Reger
Bought at such huge expense
A shopping spree of little sense
I undressed one night his eyes did scan
Doubled in laughter this helpless man
I looked at him with quizzical faces
‘Oh my Gawd your knickers need braces!’
Braces…indeed what utter farce
I’ll show him how to cover an arse
As his comments I disdainfully heeded
Stuck out my chin some action needed
Upset that designer wear carefully bought
Could end in the bin after a life so short
Next day he quizzed ‘what you doing Honeypot’
Ribbon by the mile needle and cotton I’d got
I unpicked and cut as I determinedly folded
All hot faced and HIM…I scolded
Time passed as in furvish bent I gathered and stitched
Then I was finished all done, about to be hitched
Of me Janet would have been so proud
As I modelled and sang in glee aloud
‘Now my elastics you can gaily twang
For my knickers stay up and will NEVER fall down!’
I took the problem by the gusset and got it sorted by heck
Now proudly own knickers unique, newly styled…halterneck!
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